How My Shallow Taste In Men Led To Meaningless Relationships
In my dating prime, I only looked for 3 (shallow) qualities in a man... height, looks and personality. If you were tall, you didn't have to be cute and if you were cute, you didn't have to be tall but no matter what, your personality had to be on point. The funny thing about it is, if I was approached by a cute, tall man with personality... I wanted NO PARTS of him! I felt like if he had all these qualities, he just HAD to be a man whore. SMH...yes, these were my dating standards!
As an attractive woman in my 20's making good money, living alone with no kids and a nice car, I basically could have any single man I wanted. My choice in men began to weigh in on me as I grew older. I'm going to be completely transparent about some key men I've dated, their traits and where it went wrong.
*Disclaimer: This post is in no way meant to embarrass the men I've dated, but to shed a light on how my personal choices caused me to waste so much of my time.
Mr. Miami - (Cute with Personality) This one would come in and out of town to see me. He'd bring me gifts and gave me the space I needed so I could work and build my business. What Went Wrong: The one time I decided to call him, he doesn't answer, then sends me a photo of a naked woman by mistake, claiming a friend sent it as a joke. I cut him off cold-turkey.
Mr. Long Distance Soldier - (Tall with Personality) Met during deployment, very affectionate and attentive. What Went Wrong: Found another woman's panties in his apartment; he denied knowing anything about them. That was the last time he heard from me.
Mr Handsome & Homeless - (Cute with Personality) Practically moved himself into my apartment within 3 weeks, using my groceries and utilities. What Went Wrong: When I asked him to leave, I found out he was actually homeless and had been sleeping in the park watching my apartment. He climbed to my balcony one night, which was terrifying. I moved to a new condo with a doorman shortly after.
The Unspoken Common Denominator
I didn't require much from these men. I didn't challenge them and they didn't challenge me. I realized they were just space fillers for the time I did have to spare when I wasn't working.
New Year, New Me
After having my space invaded by "Spider Man", I was ready for a complete cleansing. I broke my apartment lease, got rid of my Charger and got a Benz, quit my job to pursue my entrepreneurial dreams full time, got a dog and took a dating sabbatical. When I did begin dating again, my next boyfriend became my last. That man is now my husband and I've never been happier.
What I've Learned
I finally know what I want: someone who works as hard as me, understands what it means to build and grow, sees me as an asset and not just an accessory, and someone I can learn from. I needed to stop dating people just because I was bored.
Final Word
DO BETTER BITCH!!! IDGAFWYA, you deserve to be happy. Stop settling. Become OK with being alone. Get a damn pet! Upgrade yourself before you try to upgrade someone else. Become someone worth chasing. Matter of fact, just chase you damn self! PeriodT!
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